Mother's Day

Hi all,
All being me and all the myriad parts of myself that are so divided. I was reading over my earlier blogs, and I wrote something very deep. I said that my dis-ease had painted me into a corner. On the one hand, I feel deeply anxious and ashamed when I vomit, and on the other hand, I feel The Wanting.
You know what? I am slowly creating a third state: that of not focusing so much on my food. Even, dare I dream, of not focusing so much on myself. In a meeting recently, someone said that growing out of narcissism is not about thinking less of yourself, but of thinking of yourself less. So these days I am focusing on getting up and doing something, rather than pondering myself and all of the things I dislike about myself. I also notice that the more I contemplete these things, the more things I notice that I dislike. Difficult, because that means that there are virtually endless qualities about myself that I find lacking. When, however, I let myself alone, I begin to feel more and more accepting of myself.
Education should be, and is becoming, my passion. These kids need an education, and I must conquer my own fear that there are certain kids that cannot learn. Not that they are incapable intellectually, but that their lifestyles, family systems, neighborhoods, and histories make this unlikely. What does that mean? That I don't necessarily believe that every kid will get an education. DO I think each kids deserves an education? Of course. There is no child, regardless of their cognitive, emotional, or behavioral issues, that I would point to and say, "not him." But it is not realistic to think that we can really educate all. It is sort of like owning a house. Even if all were capable of this (I submit that they are not), thanks to overpopulation, there are not enough houses for all. Not enough BY FAR.
In any case, my title for this blog is Mother's Day. So, Happy Mother's Day to all.
Fabu out.