We go to a Healthy and Intimate Relationships meeting, Matt and I. And it has been awesome. Today, however, it scared me. I started my thing about just needing to be heard, just needing to know. . .
I asked Matt if the times he swore to me were the truth. He said they were. The problem is that this conversations has no happy ending. He hides, and I want him to reveal. So. . . there it is. It is a difficult thing, this relationship. I bet Matt would have no criticism of me to his sponsor, which sounds admirable, until you realize that that means he can get no real feedback about our relationship from him.
It is such a bummer, and I am confused about the best way to navigate this process right now. I end up feeling like I do and say something wrong all the time.
Yuuuuuck. So lame. In any case.
Back to me. I am freaked out tonight by my lack of self-control. I just am pissed.
Fabu out
angel
Don't Hide, angel
About Me
- Fabubabe
- I am 42 years old and have been vomiting for 13 years. I started throwing up after spending the early part of my life fighting being overweight. Bulimia was a fucking party for me at first, and I loved every minute of it. And lost weight. I was a contenter! Of course, after several years, I thought I had better stop. Low and behold, I couldn't. Enter OA, therapy, drugs, brief hospital stays, and sick relationships. Still no dice. Now I've quit. The lack of information from recovering bulimics inspired me to writer a blog. I gotta be the voice I need to hear. . .
No comments:
Post a Comment